As I continue my journey through life it's become clear to me that I love working with poets because I am one myself. I write poetry on various blogs and love exploring the human condition in all its glory and frailty.
You're cordially invited to visit my new blog, Life Coaching for Poets, at http://www.lifecoachingforpoets.com/. It's where I'll be sharing my musings on creativity, personal growth, being a poet, and living authentically. I look forward to seeing you there.
Cheers,
Guy
Helping Others
Human beings have a huge capacity for helping others but they sometimes forget how important it is. You've probably met people who think that the world is some kind of free-for-all where everyone grabs as much as they can and the rest fall by the wayside. That strategy would only work if we didn't all live on the same planet.
The history of behaving solely out of self-interest is that it's never built a better world, it just leads to inequality, suffering, and despair. When we forget to help others, it creates situations where one person wins and another loses. What if we could build a world where everyone gets to succeed? We can if people decide to help each other instead of trying to defeat one another.
I enjoy providing life coaching for kind, sensitive, creative people because they tend to understand that they don't live alone in the world and that, when they build someone else up, it makes their lives richer. What are your ideas on helping others?
Cheers,
Guy
What Kind of World Are You Building?
Each of us has an amazing amount of power to make the world a better place. What kind of world are you building? Is it one where people are afraid of each other and horde wealth? Is it one where war is common and compassion ridiculed? On the other side of the spectrum, is it a world where peace and compassion are the norm and people help each other be successful?
Every human being has the capacity for great kindness or thoughtlessness. It's up to each of us to decide what we want to do with our powers. Some people choose to make other people's lives better and create a compassionate world, others choose to create a world of callousness, greed and oppression.
I truly appreciate providing life coaching for kind, sensitive, creative people because they understand how to promote a world where individuals care for each other. It's up to each of us to decide what we want to do with our lives. What kind of world are you building?
Cheers,
Guy
Political Correctness Means Being Kind
A lot of people become agitated when they hear the term "Political Correctness," but I simply think of it as being kind, as in:
- Not saying stuff that offends people.
- Not putting others down or creating power differentials.
- Not denigrating people based on gender, race, sexual orientation, socio-economic level, or other characteristics.
- Not disparaging others because they don't agree with you.
- Not mistrusting or fearing certain groups because they're not like you.
- Not building walls that separate people.
- Not promoting inequality.
Being sensitive to the needs of others requires effort but it creates a friendlier, more positive world for everyone. My approach to life tends to be to think and behave in ways that promote all people's well-being, not just mine. What's your perspective on political correctness?
Cheers,
Guy
Forcing One's Beliefs on Others
As someone who has consciously worked on building self-awareness over many years, it never ceases to amaze me how many people are stuck in a pattern where they feel they have to force their beliefs on others. One of the main reasons I provide life coaching for kind, sensitive, creative people is that they are often open to all kinds of ideas.
It takes insight to move beyond one's own beliefs and entertain other points of view without feeling threatened. People who are stuck in dogma, and trying to impose it on others, often don't have the perspective to realize that not everyone thinks and behaves like they do. For example, I advocate for a belief system that welcomes and celebrates many diverse ideas, a concept that is alien to many people who are stuck in one point of view.
My lovely clients have taught me that the key to living a kind, happy, balanced, fulfilled life is to be open to all kinds of ideas and approaches. The more open a person is, the more options are available to them and the less they feel they have to convert others to their own way of thinking. What's your perspective about forcing one's beliefs on others?
Cheers,
Guy
Fix the Hard Stuff
Many of my clients initially don't realize that the key to happiness is to fix the hard stuff. Some people spend their entire lives desperately trying to ignore the difficult issues in their past or present. All this does is create stagnation because they can only ever be as happy as the hurts they carry.
A positive alternative is to work on resolving concerns such as:
- Childhood trauma.
- Adverse relationships.
- Unresolved issues that hold you back.
- Ongoing fears.
- Not living meaningfully or consciously.
- Not being yourself.
- Unresolved family junk.
- Low self-esteem.
- Not genuinely loving yourself.
Cheers,
Guy
Caring for Each Other
A major reason so many horrible things happen in the world is that we forget to care for each other. When we see other people simply as objects to be reviled, exploited, or ignored, we distance ourselves from their humanity and stop caring about them. If that person no longer matters to us then it's of no consequence if they're hurting or need help.
If we cared for every human being it would change how the world functions. We'd establish a new standard of behavior where we would be responsible for each other's well-being and health. We wouldn't be allowed to pretend horrible things aren't happening to someone, we'd have to take action because the people in question matter. We would defend everyone instead of condemning them.
I love providing life coaching for kind, sensitive, creative people because they tend to understand how important it is to consider other people's needs and help create a more compassionate world.
What ideas do you have to help people care for each other?
Cheers,
Guy
How You Treat Other People
A hugely important sign of how you feel about yourself is how you treat other people. If you feel awful about yourself, then you'll treat people poorly. If you feel great about yourself, you'll treat others well. Only one of these paths leads to genuine happiness and fulfillment.
As human beings, we have choices about how we feel, think, and behave. We can function on autopilot and let all our fears and hurts get on everyone else or we can consciously behave with compassion and kindness. The reason I enjoy providing life coaching for kind, sensitive, creative people is because they understand that other people also need to be treated with care. When you're sensitive to others it most likely means you're tending to your own inner needs and you feel good about yourself which, in turn, builds a better world.
What are your tips on how to treat other people well?
Cheers,
Guy
Hurt People Have Dead Eyes
There are many times I'll be talking with someone or even watching TV and notice that deeply hurt people have dead eyes, a distant, detached look that comes from inner trauma and a history of hurt.
Each one of us has hurts in his or her past, but it's what we do with that pain that determines whether we develop dead eyes or not. Some people hurt others because they themselves are so damaged inside, others choose to do life-affirming, uplifting things. People with dead eyes have given up on helping others, but it doesn't have to be that way.
The wonderful thing about human beings is that we can overcome anything and use it to create more good in the world. Think of the power we each have to do positive things and to treat others well. I love providing life coaching for kind, sensitive, creative people because they have the predisposition to move in a gentle, caring direction and create a better world.
We each only have one life and we can choose whether we live it kindly. What tips do you have to avoid dead eyes?
Cheers,
Guy
Shirking Responsibility
I love coaching kind, sensitive, creative people because they naturally seem to understand that we all have a responsibility to care for one another and create a world we can all enjoy. When one person is in pain then we're all responsible as a group; when one child goes hungry, we all are responsible.
A lot of people are conditioned to believe that empathy, kindness, or peace are impossible concepts. They say it's just too hard to reverse the tide of history and replace it with kindness, but that's just shirking responsibility.
There are millions if not billions of people across the globe who believe in creating a peaceful, kind, equitable world. The key is to let those voices be the ones that guide us instead of the one's that lead us into selfishness, conflict, and strife.
Kind people don't say, "I didn't have anything to do with that," when they hear of someone's suffering, they take action to make it better. If each of us took responsibility for caring about the rest of humanity, we could build a better world over time. Just as we designed the world we have now, we can create another, it will just require taking responsibility for each others' well being.
What are your ideas on taking responsibility for creating a better world?
Cheers,
Guy
Happy People Aren't Mean
Genuinely happy people aren't mean because they feel good about themselves and aren't constantly on the offensive or defensive against others. When you feel truly peaceful and balanced inside, you tend to behave the same way toward others because you don't have anything to gain or compensate for by going down an unfavorable path.
I've worked with many people over the years to help them be as happy as possible in order to create a more positive world for themselves and others. The reason I exclusively provide life coaching for kind, sensitive, creative people is that they tend to be open to looking deep within themselves and finding what brings them joy.
I'm always surprised by the amount of people who say they're happy and then do all kinds of things that demonstrate they're not. Luckily, human beings can change their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If you're not happy right now, it's not a problem, it just requires the will to heal yourself inside and move in a different direction. It's the process of replacing your current way of doing things with new, more positive approaches.
What are your secrets to being happy instead of mean?
Cheers,
Guy
Are You Really an Optimist?
I've met a lot of people over the years who claim to be optimists and then think and behave in profoundly pessimistic ways, for example: The person who says he (or she) really loves people but routinely treats them horribly. The key to living a truly meaningful, happy life is to love yourself so much that you automatically live optimistically. Here are some characteristics of a genuine optimist:
- Treats himself and others with kindness.
- Values love and compassion.
- Helps build a better world for as many people as possible.
- Does not exclude others from anything.
- Does not see himself as separate from others.
- Is actively healing his hurts.
- Does not behave in ways that damage others.
- Is not afraid of change.
- Is not stuck in the past.
- Is constantly learning and growing.
Cheers,
Guy
On Being Shy
I'm shy by nature although I've learned to compensate for it to the point that I've been a professional presenter and workshop facilitator for years. This doesn't change the fact that I prefer to be alone and doing my own thing, without people hovering over me.
I don't really like casual social situations. Most people would say that I appear to be a social butterfly, but I actually get headaches from too much superficial interaction and small talk. I prefer to hang out with someone I really care about or a small group of close friends.
My family forced me to be social at a very young age. I grew up in an environment where you had to mingle and be on stage. I often had to retreat to my room to escape all the noise created by my family members and recharge my batteries.
Because I'm an introvert, I deeply enjoy providing life coaching for kind, sensitive, creative people (who might also be shy) because I know what it's like to have to cope with a brash, loud, grating world when all you want to do is be contemplative and imaginative.
What do you think about being shy?
Cheers,
Guy
Treating Other People Well
The concept of treating other people well seems to be missing from many individual's vocabulary. It's like they crave a world based on everybody doing exactly what they want, even if it's at the expense of someone else rather than building a sense of community.
When you treat another human being poorly you're demonstrating how you feel deep inside. People who have unresolved, festering hurt and pain inside tend to treat others with less care. They don't know how to love themselves, so they 're unable to treat other people well.
The reason I provide life coaching for kind, sensitive, creative people is that those are the qualities I want to support and celebrate in the world. I prefer to focus on people who are agents for positive change rather than people who function based on their hurts. Kind, caring people make the world a better place by modeling positive behavior and spreading joy.
Treating other people well requires being truly happy inside first. It means liking yourself enough to interact positively with others and consider their thoughts and feelings. It's living with love rather than fear or anxiety.
What are your tips on treating other people well?
Cheers,
Guy
Learn How to Apologize
Throughout my years of life coaching I've seen many complicated situations made worse because people don't know how to apologize. The underlying belief is that somehow apologizing will make them look wrong or weak. Apologizing isn't about being right or wrong, it's about taking responsibility for making a mistake or hurting someone else in some way.
An important part of being a kind human being is the ability to empathize with others. We all make mistakes and we all can do or say things we wish we hadn't. If you choose to live courageously, you'll take the time to say I'm sorry to someone or openly admit a mistake. The myth is that apologizing makes you look weak but it really makes you stronger because you become a person who is able to learn and grow.
Apologizing doesn't even have to be complex. Just look at the person or people involved, admit what you did, and say you're sorry. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it will make you much happier in the long run.
What are your tips on apologizing?
Cheers,
Guy
Culture of Selfishness
As someone who promotes kindness, sensitivity, and creativity, it's difficult to observe the level of selfishness in our culture. It's like watching the kid in a sandbox who hoards all the toys and doesn't share with anyone. People are frequently so selfish that they support ideas that hurt others.
The myth is that, if you're selfish, you'll get to keep more stuff for yourself and feel more secure. My life coaching practice has taught me that selfishness never leads to happiness because people not only feel bad about hurting others, they don't feel any safer either. Selfishness comes from a deep insecurity inside the person. Even if they had every single dollar, bit of power, or material possession in the world, they still wouldn't feel at peace.
So how do you solve this selfishness conundrum? It all starts with healing our own hurts so we can treat ourselves and others well. When people feel healthy and balanced inside, they are much more likely to treat others with kindness and compassion. The second step is to promote collaboration. Encourage people to work with each other rather than against one another. Build a society that rewards helping others rather than taking advantage of others. The final element is to promote giving. When you give to others (whether it be good thoughts, time, or money) you start building a more collaborative, healthy world.
The reason I love coaching kind, sensitive, creative people is that those are precisely the kind of qualities that build a healthier, happier, more equitable world. What would you do to heal the culture of selfishness?
Cheers,
Guy
You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks
There's a myth that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. My life coaching practice has taught me that nothing could be further from the truth. People can, and do, learn new things at any point in their lives, if they want to. The one's who don't learn new things are simply stuck because they're comfortable with their routine and don't want to disrupt it. It's hard, and even scary, to change how you've always done things.
So, you get to decide if you hang on to the old stuff that doesn't get you the results you want or try stuff that helps you move in a positive, inspiring direction. As a human being, you have the capability of moving in any direction you wish. I prefer to move in a kind, sensitive, creative direction because it leads to deep fulfillment. What new tricks will you learn?
Cheers,
Guy
Heal Your Hurts
If I had to list the one thing I've noticed in my life coaching practice that holds people back more than anything else, it's not healing one's hurts. We've all been hurt in some way, oftentimes by people we love, and it can keep us from living life to its fullest. If you choose to ignore your hurts you will only be able to exist from day to day, reacting to people and events based on your inner pain, instead of living courageously and proactively. It's like trying to run a marathon while carrying a giant boulder, you'd do much better if you didn't have that extra weight.
So how do you heal your hurts? It all starts with consciously taking action to deal with them, for example:
- Acknowledge the hurt.
- Feel the emotions related to the hurt.
- Realize that, no matter how strong or difficult the emotions are, you can handle them and that things will get better once you face them.
- Seek professional help if you need extra help, consider joining an ongoing support group.
- Praise the positive things about yourself.
- Realize that you can get past your hurts.
- Look inside yourself for the answers, not outside, trust that you have the ability to heal yourself.
- Hang out with healthy, balanced people who have worked on their own hurts.
- Take one small step each day to continue healing.
- Celebrate your accomplishments each day.
Cheers,
Guy
What's with All the Hate?
Have you noticed the amount of hate that some people direct at others? While loathing someone else might seem to provide purpose or meaning, it only weakens the person doing it.
Hate, at its core, is about fear. When you're afraid of something or don't understand it, you tend to have a visceral reaction against it because you're trying to protect yourself, it's the fight or flight response that's hardwired into us. The irony is that hate doesn't make you stronger, it consumes vast amounts of energy without adding anything positive to your quality of life.
The great thing about human beings is that we can transcend our animal impulses and consciously heal our fear and love one another. There are many options to hate, including talking to people, learning about them, and treating them with kindness. You can always work on resolving the things inside you that lead to hate so that you can live a healthy, happy life.
What do you do to move past hate?
Cheers,
Guy
Living a Meaningful Life
Living a meaningful life means that you tap into your very essence, who you are deep inside. It's living without irrational fears or self-imposed obstacles. Life has true meaning when you move past ego-related issues and down into who you really are at your core.
Countless people live superficially. For example, their spouse of thirty years passes away and they realize that they don't know anything about that person because all they ever talked about was the weather. Living meaningfully is the opposite of existing superficially, it requires having the courage to identify who you are and live life as the real you.
What are your tips on living a meaningful life?
Cheers,
Guy
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